Random thoughts at 4am.

I think that I may start calling my period "my dark days."  It's pretty much run it's course, and I am already feeling less depressed.  I mean, yes, I still dislike everything about myself immensely and I don't see any sort of future for myself.

My aunt forced me to come out tonight.  We went to Dizzle's house and made homemade pizza and rented a few movies.  I filled up on medicine and wine.  And cookies.  They were old and stale, but I ate them anyway. 

Overall, I am happy I went.  Getting out was nice.  I enjoyed a distraction from my generally sad existence.  Still, I don't believe I will be going out again any time soon.

"Call Me Maybe" just came on my iTunes. I think I have Jordan to thank for this.  Grrr.

I get sad so easily.  I was just thinking, I really used to see myself as this smart and funny girl with a unique point of view and so much to say.  It was all bullshit.  I have nothing to say and it doesn't matter.

I actually saw this amazing trailer the other day.  I'm going to see if I can figure out how to link it.  I am still new to this blogging thing FYI.

The trailer for The Secret Life of Walter Mitty starts off with Ben Stiller saying, "Well I haven't really been anywhere noteworthy or mentionable."  He is then asked if he has DONE anything of that sort.  I guess the trailer resonated with me because I am a daydreamer as well.  Maybe I spend too much time imagining these amazing life stories.  But what's wrong with that?  I know that I live an ordinary life.  I will die an ordinary person and will be forgotten soon after I am gone.  So in my dull boring life, I allow myself time to imagine a better life.  Is that so bad?

I am realistic.  I haven't and will never do anything noteworthy or mentionable.  I wonder if others would be better off with this realization as well.  

Well, like I said before, it was nice to get out.  I'm not sure I will be going into work on Monday.  I doubt it.  A waste of a sick day, but I don't care maybe.

If anyone is reading this (which is so fucking unlikely) watch the trailer.